Marriages Gone Wrong

Having witnessed at point-blank range varying levels of stupidity when it comes to getting married, I am compelled to write a blogpost, to console myself above anything else. I have learnt, among other unfortunate things during my twenty-something years that people are capable of actually ruining their lives and then look back and blame it on everyone except themselves.

Stupid Friend 1 got married to someone who had, during their so-called relationship, demeaned her and her family. He happily went on with his life when they broke up, but she kept calling him, and calling him, and begging him to marry her, risking to give many of her legal rights in the process. She went ahead and married him eventually, and for the sake of my sanity I won't try to imagine how there life will be like.

Stupid Friend 2, no REALLY Stupid Friend 2, already noticed during her engagement her beau's shortcomings, so did her dad, but they went on with the marriage anyway, akin to Really Stupid Friend's bizarre behaviour and off-the-handle mood swings. Not surprisingly, her mood swings turned to tornadoes after marriage, and she's now back in her dad's home, with a hapless child in tow.

Despite the different circumstances in which both marriages took place, I can see a similarity between them; a desparate avoidance of social stigma. It is a shame to be unmarried, so I could just throw myself in any pitfall, better than ending up alone. I cannot understand their mindsets. Whatever happened to common sense? How can ruining you life, and bringing into the world an innocent fatherless child be so common? I know, it's always desire. Even where they do not want to admit this, they were just seeking sexual gratification. Of course I am not disparaging this, I am just wondering what they thought they'd be doing for the rest of their lives when sex would no longer be fun.

I have heard someone say this over the radio and I will keep remembering it in case my friends' stupidity becomes contagious. Loneliness is better than bad company. Looking at my friends' choices now, I thank the gracious heavens that I am single. And if no one should prove worthy of my company, I know that I have enough self-confidence and sanity to do everything which marriage and lactation does not allow me.

OTV ماتشوفش

بقى أنا من امبارح دمي محروق وعمالة أهري وأنكت في نفسي ومش عارفة أركز ومش عارفة أتضايق حتى من اللي شفته على المدعوة "أو تى فى"

كنت قاعدة بتفرج على فيلم أجنبي في أمان الله ألاقيلك البطلة فجأة بقت عريانة...ولسة مافقتش من الصدمة لقيت بعد كده مشاهد جنسية صريحة!!! أنا فضلت فترة على بال ما استوعبت اللى حصل ودخلت أنام وأنا مفيش في دماغي غير المشهد ده...ماقدرتش أنام وللا أفكر في الشغل والنهاردة صاحية مبلمة ورحت الشغل كل شوية ألاقي نفسي بأقرا عن موضوع أفلام أو تي في وسايبة الشغل!!! واكتشفت إنها مش أول مرة القناة تعرض مواد إباحية

أنا كنت لاحظت موضوع الرقابة المنعدمة كذا مرة قبل كده على القناة دي، بس أول مرة أفاجأ بالعري الصريح والواضح، ولا كأن الناس عمالة تصوت وتشد في شعرها من قنوات ميلودي، يقوموا جايبين مشاهد جنسية كاملة

وإمعانا في الاستعباط، القناة أعلنت في نص الفيلم إنه "للكبار وبس"

ده إن شاء الله على أساس إنه العيال كلها بتنام الساعة 12؟

وعلى أساس إن القضية قضية أطفال وبس؟

خير بقى؟

في إيه يعني؟

هو النظام حايبقى كده وللا ايه من هنا ورايح؟

أفتح القناة ألاقى ناس عريانة وشوية شوية هلاقى أفلام بورنو؟

هى الدنيا جرى فيها إيه؟

هى الناس ناقصة أخلاقها تبوظ؟ أيوه بتكلم في الأخلاق. الأخلاق إنك ماتصدمش المشاهد بالمناظر دي، القبيح هايروح على القنوات المتشفرة وهو هايبقى عارف اللى جاى

لكن أبقى قاعدة جمب أخويا وللا أبويا ألاقى مشهد جنسي عيني عينك....لأ

لأ يا ساويريس

شاطر بس تطلع تعيط يا عيني على الموظفين بتوعك اللى اتخطفوا...وتقول أصل أنا رااجل صعيدي

لأ فعلا هي دي أخلاق القرية أمال ايه يا رجال

أجذب الناس للجنس والمشاهد العارية وبس وإن شالله ما حد اشتغل وإن شالله ما حد ركز في أي حاجة غير الجنس

أخلى الناس كلها مدمنة بورنو أكتر ماهما مدمنين يللا ما هي خربت

إلاهي تخرب فوق راسك قادر يا كريم

أقوللك يا ساويريس يا صعيدي، أنا عايزاك تعيط أوي لما معدلات الاغتصاب تزيد من 20.000 ألف في السنة لمية

عايزاك تبكي بدل الدموع دم لما الستات عقدهم تزيد بسبب التحرش الجنسي اللى هو أصلا سمة متأصلة من سمات الشارع المصري

عايزاك تشد في قرعتك لما ماتلاقيش حد عدل يشتغل معاك عشان الناس كلها مابقتش بتفكر غير في الجنس من كل المناظر اللى بتشوفها

لأ مش بفلوسي يا ساويريس

مش هاشترك في موبينيل

مش هاتفرج على نوديتي تي في

مش هاشترك في لينك دوت نت

ساويريس وكل اللى بيهدموا بدل ما يصلحوا...يحموك في كنكة

جتكوا القرف مليتوا البلد

I can't get no sex education

We unmarried (and married?) Egyptian youth are wretched ugly ducklings. Under the pretence of religion and customs and traditions and 3eb ( unacceptable) and haram (religiously condemned) nobody gives us any piece of information, let alone right or wrong, on sexual intercourse. Nobody actually teaches us how to have sex...they're afraid we do it before marriage!
And who is supposed to teach us anyway? School and/or our parents. Right? Well...the only part on sexual education is taught in 3rd prep (when we're like 14) and frankly, the only thing I learned was that I have a reproductive system and that guys have penises. Oh and that we grow hair and our hips widen when we hit puberty. Part of the problem was that I was absent in one of the two or three classes it took to teach 'sexual intercourse and the reproductive system' and the teacher refused -rudely- to repeat what I didn't understand. And in the other class I fainted at the end of the classroom and no one noticed. LOL.
But as for the rest of the students...it wasn't just bad luck. This lesson was like any other lesson we had to study at school-it was to be MEMORISED! Just memorise every single word and there...you're done. You passed. You got you fair share of sex education. Congratulations!
Usually,or often, or rarely(I don't know, I began doubting that) Egyptian mothers have a once-in-a-lifetime conversation with their daughters before they get married (a week before the Dokhla? Dokhla is the night of the wedding) . They teach them what to do...what whom the Prohet's name is guarding and preserving aka her future husband would do...etc
Alas, even THAT doesn't always happen! "Al Naama wal Tawoos" or "The Ostrich and the Peacock", an Egyptian movie produced a few years ago, tackled the issue of 'sexual ignorance' openly. When the girl asks her mom about sex before she gets married, her mother is just too ashamed and tells her, "He knows". The thing is, it turned out later that he didn't know.
I realised the weight of the crisis just yesterday. My friends and I gathered in a cafe and we noticed that two of us, let's call them Mona and Sally, were whispering and somehow abandonned the rest of us. We kept teasing them coz we kinda guessed what they were talking about; Mona's getting married by winter and Sally in 11 days' time. Remember the 11 days' time. Ok?
I asked Sally if there was anything she wanted to know...and she answered..."I don't know anything". We were puzzled and asked her hadn't her mother talked with her yet? She hadn't. I just tried to comfort her and told her that sure her mother was intending to talk to her the next couple of days...and that maybe she's shy...so why not start the conversation with her..."Mummy I needed to know a few stuff" kind of lines. All the poor girl knew was licking and sucking-from her work mates.
To avoid disasters, I started explaining to them the four stages of the human sexual response cycle in a rather scientific way. Sally started to nod so I knew she read some book...but Mona kept her eyes wide open and her face was pale. Anything I said about orgasm, erection or the vagina was totally knew to her! I realised I've been speaking in English, so I translated some terms, but language wasn't the problem. It was the first time EVER Mona knew about sex. Those girls didn't know that we've got three holes, and I guess they still don't know which one is used for sex. A hideous thought ripped through my head: what if their husbands didn't know either? Talk about high divorce rates!
I kept thinking...didn't they even get curious some day and logged on to the internet, read some book or asked their mothers? I knew what their mothers would have told them anyway..."mesh wa2toh delwa2ty ya 7abebty...7ab2a a2ollek lamma teegy tetgawezy" "It's not time now dear...I will tell you when you get married" Hopefully before the Dokhla!
After some discussion,debates and laughs in which the rest of our group joined and listened to me intently...Sally dropped the bombshell.

"So what brings about the babies? My water or his?"

"His," I answered quickly, trying not to embarrass or laugh at her whereas in fact I was truly mad at them. Really, really mad at them. And at their mothers. And at mine (but I'm not getting married any time soon so I shouldn't worry now right?) At least I had my share of independent reading on the topic,but Mona and Sally aren't readers...how could they know?! I didn't lash out at them because I realised they are victims of negligence and ignorance.
I hereby declare from this blog that we Egyptian youth can't get no sex education whatsoever and we don't know what to do! The only sex we're getting anywhere in the air is some supposedly hot scenes and innuendos in Egyptian movies, 'medical' magazines and books with eye-catching titles and awfully-drawn pictures.

For God's sake, people, sex education is not innate. It is to be TAUGHT!