Dust and Dreams

Friday, June 06, 2008

The Lagging Tag

Once upon a time, the dear fellow-blogger Ravine tagged me; I was supposed to write ten random things about myself. There you go, Ravine!

1) I am well-bred and decent in real life. However, I don't bother to be so as a blogger. Over here, I swear, curse and tackle forbidden issues freely. Schizophrenic? Maybe- I couldn't care less. Sometimes matters get so crazy you just can't be polite anymore. Wouldn't you agree?

2) My measure of right and wrong are driven from Islamic teachings. I don't know if I should be called 'religious' for this. Whenever I think of a religious girl, the image of a really long, thick Hijab, flared skirt, a Koran and a booklet of "Daily phrases" in the bag, going to classes on Islamic faith, considering music as words of the Shaytan and having only female friends comes to my mind, and I know I'm not that type of Muslim. I am a 'help people, work conscienciously, be good to family and friends, fight social ills, maintain peace and love, find inspiration in music and whatever book I read' kind of Muslim.

3) I am an internet addict. I have recently begun to hate it and am trying to cure myself. I have begun to notice how mom began to feel lonely, and it broke my heart to little pieces. I mean, it's crazy. I get back from work, and IMMEDIATELY switch on the computer, before praying, before asking mom how her day was, before doing what's urgent. I don't want a day to come when I regret not spending more time with her. This is the most murderous feeling one can get.

4) I am extreeeeemely hesitant. I'm the kind of person who will make an order in a fast-food restaurant in 20 minutes.

5) I hate change. I HATE change. I am secure where I am. I know everything going on and I can expect what will happen tomorrow. Why should everything change all of a sudden? Even when I am forced to change, I spend a really long time before I get used to the new conditions, which often turn out to be better. The change I mean here is change in my personal life; I don't mean change in the stupidity of some people. I am all for it.

6) I am very paranoid. If you don't mean any harm, I will expect you to. If you try to explain in good will that I did something wrong, I will figure out that you want me dead.

7) I am an adamant feminist. I am not part of a Feminist organisation (as yet), I do not know all of the Feminist movements, and I did not read for Simone De Beauvoir. What I do know is, women reserve the right to walk the streets safely, have sexual fantasies and express them (to whoever they find appropriate) without being called sluts, get married or stay single without being labelled, looked at as human beings who feel love, pain, frustration besides being mothers, wives and/or sexual and/or love interests.

8) I have an unquenchable thirst for human relations, and find it sad that those relationships are not better appreciated by a lot of us.

9) I believe we shouldn't expect a subordinate such as a member of society, student or son to work properly if his/her 'supervisor' has gone astray. Corruption or discipline work from up to down, not the other way around.

10) I have the classical wish of finding someone who will be husband, lover, friend, brother and companion to me.

This tag is now forwarded to Pink Blume.

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Thursday, May 29, 2008

المرتب زاد 45 جنيه

هييييييييييييييييه
أنا فرحانة فرحانة فرحانة
المرتب زاد 45 جنيه بفضل علاوة مايو المجيدة
أنا ماصدقتش نفسييييييي ومش عارفة أعمل ايه ولا ايه؟
فكروا كده...اقترحوا...شوروا عليا
أتعلم السواقة؟
طب أجيب عدسات جديدة بدل نظري اللى بقى شيش بيش ده
ولا أشتري حاجات للجهاز؟
أجيب كم حلو ينفعني قدام ولا حاجة
لا لأ ده أنا لازم أحوش المبلغ ده لحد ما أتجوز بعد عشر سنين كده
45×12 = 540
540×10 = 5400
مالهم خمس آلاف جنيه زي الفل أبتدي بيهم حياتي؟
أشتري بيهم طقم الحلل وأقلب الرز بإيدي؟
تحيا العلاوة الحكومية

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Friday, May 23, 2008

Six Pregnant Women



A few days ago, it suddenly came to my realization that I alone, out of +78 million Egyptians, know of six pregnant women. The imminent enfegar sokkany is not really my concern here...it's the wonder of having a life growing inside of you that captures me. How does a woman feel when she knows she's pregnant? And that, come a few months, she will actually bring a baby into this world? How does it feel to feel it moving, or its heart beating? To see her tummy growing every night...her skin stretching...her health failing...women envying her on the street as she proudly takes slow steps down the road...


M is tiny and frail. She married really young, and often regretted doing so; "Ana mashya l7ad delwa2ty bl satr," she once remarked, not because of financial issues...but because she was not yet ready to bear the responsibility...

"I'm pregnant," "Congratulations-" I hadn't completed before she continued.."Well, don't be so happy, the obstetrician told me I might have a miscarriage any moment now, and that I have to rest." I felt sorry for the aborted happiness. M seems for a lot of people that she has the world-a great job, great husband, great house, fairytale wedding- so to have a second miscarriage can balance matters...doesn't it? No one's life is perfect, even perfect-looking people have hardships. We just fail to realize that, and find it much easier to envy them instead.

I haven't been able to reach her for a week...Even then, I'm dreading hearing unfavourable news...May the life inside you grow, M!


*****************************


N loved her husband so much. She was frustrated when her parents rejected him at first. However, being the stubborn child she has always been, she had her way and married him, and her parents let go and blessed the marriage.

One night, she called her sister, screaming: "Come get me! I can't bear this anymore! 7asby Allah w ne3ma el wakeel! 7asby Allah w ne3ma el wakeel! I'm fed up! He doesn't care about me any more! I want a divorce! I want a divorce!"

A week later, she spoke of how her husband is an angel who feeds her with his own hands when she gets ill, and of all the virtues her blessed husband possesses. Don't ask. She's a Gemini.

"I will call her Dana," she softly told her brother about the coming baby. That seems like a really sweet name, I didn't object. But then...she started bleeding. She was told to rest for a few days, then undergo some tests to check the foetus' health...

"I saw something like a baby in the toilet," she sadly told me. I froze in horror but quickly told her, "It can't be. Don't worry, everything is going to be fine." Whatever the ailment or mishap, we always tell each other that everything will be okay. What if it doesn't? What if evrythign turns for the worst, as it very often does? Why do we have to lie just to comfort ourselves and comfort others?

"N got a sa2t," I heard mom say...and felt disgusted at the word. Sa2t, like failure. No, it's not sa2t. It's eghad. A miscarriage she will overcome, and she is still young and fertile and will make another one. Yes, inshaAllah she'll make another one.


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I didn't know she was coming. Hell, I didn't even know her. My own student. So I didn't bother either about how I look or what time I arrive at college. I suddenly found a young man asking: "Dr N?" He had a crying baby and a young, beautiful wife. She seemed older than me, still. She asked me, three days before her exam, what the syllabus was all about. I told her in a nutshell, and noticed that she was neither listening nor aware of the situation...It is straight madness to try to explain a syllabus in ten minutes. I wondered to myself...what was she thinking? She started to sway...and unpinned her Hijab...her husband told me..."She's pregnant, and she sometimes gets dizzy," with a pride he couldn't hide. So, here was a girl who couldn't wait for some two years to get married...and just be through with all her studies before starting a serious relationship...but what do I know? Over there in Banha...maybe she was indirectly pressured...maybe she got too many proposals (C'mon, she's fair) and was fed up and gave herself up to this relatively handsome young man. But how, how, how on earth was she supposed to look after her eastern hubby who would probably not make a cup of tea for himself, look after a baby, look after herself and her unborn child, do the cleaning and the cooking, and study?


***********************************


When I knew that A is pregnant, I exclaimed, "A child bearing a child!" True, A was a naughty girl, she sometimes wore her little sister's clothes to college, just because they look fashionable. She was loud and friendly, she was brave and honest. She had lived most of her life in Qatar and would probably go back as soon as she had finished college. I sometimes found her mysterious, which even made her more attractive. I'm a sucker for mysterious people. A, her hubby, is almost the same. He would make us laugh whenever he opened his mouth, nay, even by looking at him. By fourth year it was clear enough they were in love, but we weren't sure just how lucky they would be. Her mother, a dictator, refused his proposal at first, claiming he's not good enough for her. However, they somehow managed to get engaged, then married a few months later. Now, I can't help laughing and wishing them luck when I think of A, pregnant, overweight and absolutely stunning, reclining in a big armchair, unable to move the two babies inside her alone, so instead lets her husband do most of the housework. Her husband, who used to join us in playing cards at college not too long ago...who will be a father in a few weeks

I love you guys!


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Remember Sally? Well, she's also pregnant now. Yep, miracles do happen! Lol. I think Kimberley's explanation is really satisfactory :D

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Also pregnant is our friend Ingy. I'll probably see her on Tuesday and get spell-bound; she's in the third trimester.

ربنا ينتعكوا بالسلامة يا حبايبي :D


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Friday, May 09, 2008

هنا الميكروباص

امبارح كان تالت يوم بعد رفع أسعار البنزين...الناس مش طايقة نفسها ولا طايقة بعض...أو يمكن هما طول عمرهم كده بس أنا حاسة إن هما كده اليومين دول عشان باعكس إحساسي عليهم وبأطبق نظرية "كن جميل ترى الوجود جميلا، ومخلياها "كن متنرفز ترى الوجود متنرفزا
المهم فضلت واقفة في عز الحر إن المينيباص اللى رايح الحي التامن ييجي ماجاش...ولاحظت إن المينيباصات التانية حطت يافطة كده "الأجرة 1.25"، قمت مرجعة العشرة صاغ اللي كنت مجهزاها في إيديا (برج العذراء بقى تقولوا ايه) بمنتهى الاستسلام وطلعت بدالهم ربع جنيه من لحمي الحي. المينيباص مجاش...قمت راكبة بداله ميكروباص من بتوع الجمعية التعاونية لنقل الركاب لحد أول مكرم عبيد ولقيت الأجرة بجنيه
بعد شوية راجل عجوز طلع وسأل الأجرة بكام؟ ولما عرف الراجل اتجنن
معقول؟ مش ممكن! دي الميكروباصات بقت بجنيه ونص...ده انتوا حلوين قوى بقى...دي الأجرة زادت في كل حتة...مش ممكن
وابتسمت لإني أول مرة أشوف حد فرحان كده من زمان
بس وأنا راجعة لقيت حاجة غريبة
لقيت مينيباص خدمة مميزة برضو زي الأول تمام مكتوب عليه "الأجرة جنيه ونص"ومش مكيف ولا حاجة
ههههههه


ملحوظة هامة
الناس على الفيسبوك استلهمت فكرة من أمريكا لإجبار شركات البنزين إنها تنزل الأسعار؛ يقاطعوا أكبر شركتين "موبيل والوطنية" ويمونوا من الشركات التانية الصغنطوطة لحد ما الشركات الكبيرة تنزل الأسعار
أنا بأييد أي فكرة فيها احتجاج على الظلم...مع إن المستفيد من زيادة الأسعار في الأول وفي الآخر الحكومة
وبعدين في حاجة بقى
أنا أطالب بالكشف على القوى العقلية للوزير اللي قال "احنا بناخد من القادرين وبندي الغير قادرين"
هما اللي بيركبوا المواصلات دول مين؟
مش دول الغير قادرين...الواحد فيهم بيركب تلات أريع مواصلات في اليوم ممكن بالمنظر ده يدفع مش أقل من عشرة جنيه في اليوم يعني 200 جنيه في الشهر مواصلات بسسس
إنت بتفهم منين حضرتك
؟

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

أيها المصريون

البنزين والسولار غلي
يعني المرتب حيطير والمواصلات حتغلى وسواقين الأجرة حيرفعوها
أيها المصريون
قدامكوا حل من التلاتة
ياتسرقوا
ياتهاجروا
ياتموتوا موت بطئ نتيجة للضغط العالي
اخترتوا إيه؟

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

كل إضراب وانتوا طيبين

قريت تعليق دلوقتي على جروب الإضراب عالفيس بوك بيقول إن الإضراب نجح بدليل التواجد الأمني المكثف والزيادة التلاتين في المية
الرأي عجبني بس هو طبعا الزيادة دي مجرد محاولة امتصاص لغضب الناس مش أكتر
مفيش حد مستواه حيتحسن عشان زيادة 30% من الأساسي
واحدة زيي بتقبض من الحكومة أخدت زيادة 35 جنيه فقط لا غير لما السنة اللى فاتت العلاوة بقت 15% يبقى تفتكروا الشهر ده هزيد كام؟
أنا متوقعة 70 جنيه
حلو
احنا هاسرق ولا ايه؟

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Friday, April 25, 2008

OTV ماتشوفش

بقى أنا من امبارح دمي محروق وعمالة أهري وأنكت في نفسي ومش عارفة أركز ومش عارفة أتضايق حتى من اللي شفته على المدعوة "أو تى فى"
كنت قاعدة بتفرج على فيلم أجنبي في أمان الله ألاقيلك البطلة فجأة بقت عريانة...ولسة مافقتش من الصدمة لقيت بعد كده مشاهد جنسية صريحة!!! أنا فضلت فترة على بال ما استوعبت اللى حصل ودخلت أنام وأنا مفيش في دماغي غير المشهد ده...ماقدرتش أنام وللا أفكر في الشغل والنهاردة صاحية مبلمة ورحت الشغل كل شوية ألاقي نفسي بأقرا عن موضوع أفلام أو تي في وسايبة الشغل!!! واكتشفت إنها مش أول مرة القناة تعرض مواد إباحية
أنا كنت لاحظت موضوع الرقابة المنعدمة كذا مرة قبل كده على القناة دي، بس أول مرة أفاجأ بالعري الصريح والواضح، ولا كأن الناس عمالة تصوت وتشد في شعرها من قنوات ميلودي، يقوموا جايبين مشاهد جنسية كاملة
وإمعانا في الاستعباط، القناة أعلنت في نص الفيلم إنه "للكبار وبس"
ده إن شاء الله على أساس إنه العيال كلها بتنام الساعة 12؟
وعلى أساس إن القضية قضية أطفال وبس؟
خير بقى؟
في إيه يعني؟
هو النظام حايبقى كده وللا ايه من هنا ورايح؟
أفتح القناة ألاقى ناس عريانة وشوية شوية هلاقى أفلام بورنو؟
هى الدنيا جرى فيها إيه؟
هى الناس ناقصة أخلاقها تبوظ؟ أيوه بتكلم في الأخلاق. الأخلاق إنك ماتصدمش المشاهد بالمناظر دي، القبيح هايروح على القنوات المتشفرة وهو هايبقى عارف اللى جاى
لكن أبقى قاعدة جمب أخويا وللا أبويا ألاقى مشهد جنسي عيني عينك....لأ
لأ يا ساويريس
شاطر بس تطلع تعيط يا عيني على الموظفين بتوعك اللى اتخطفوا...وتقول أصل أنا رااجل صعيدي
لأ فعلا هي دي أخلاق القرية أمال ايه يا رجال
أجذب الناس للجنس والمشاهد العارية وبس وإن شالله ما حد اشتغل وإن شالله ما حد ركز في أي حاجة غير الجنس
أخلى الناس كلها مدمنة بورنو أكتر ماهما مدمنين يللا ما هي خربت
إلاهي تخرب فوق راسك قادر يا كريم
أقوللك يا ساويريس يا صعيدي، أنا عايزاك تعيط أوي لما معدلات الاغتصاب تزيد من 20.000 ألف في السنة لمية
عايزاك تبكي بدل الدموع دم لما الستات عقدهم تزيد بسبب التحرش الجنسي اللى هو أصلا سمة متأصلة من سمات الشارع المصري
عايزاك تشد في قرعتك لما ماتلاقيش حد عدل يشتغل معاك عشان الناس كلها مابقتش بتفكر غير في الجنس من كل المناظر اللى بتشوفها
لأ مش بفلوسي يا ساويريس
مش هاشترك في موبينيل
مش هاتفرج على نوديتي تي في
مش هاشترك في لينك دوت نت
ساويريس وكل اللى بيهدموا بدل ما يصلحوا...يحموك في كنكة
جتكوا القرف مليتوا البلد

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