I can't get no sex education

We unmarried (and married?) Egyptian youth are wretched ugly ducklings. Under the pretence of religion and customs and traditions and 3eb ( unacceptable) and haram (religiously condemned) nobody gives us any piece of information, let alone right or wrong, on sexual intercourse. Nobody actually teaches us how to have sex...they're afraid we do it before marriage!
And who is supposed to teach us anyway? School and/or our parents. Right? Well...the only part on sexual education is taught in 3rd prep (when we're like 14) and frankly, the only thing I learned was that I have a reproductive system and that guys have penises. Oh and that we grow hair and our hips widen when we hit puberty. Part of the problem was that I was absent in one of the two or three classes it took to teach 'sexual intercourse and the reproductive system' and the teacher refused -rudely- to repeat what I didn't understand. And in the other class I fainted at the end of the classroom and no one noticed. LOL.
But as for the rest of the students...it wasn't just bad luck. This lesson was like any other lesson we had to study at school-it was to be MEMORISED! Just memorise every single word and there...you're done. You passed. You got you fair share of sex education. Congratulations!
Usually,or often, or rarely(I don't know, I began doubting that) Egyptian mothers have a once-in-a-lifetime conversation with their daughters before they get married (a week before the Dokhla? Dokhla is the night of the wedding) . They teach them what to do...what whom the Prohet's name is guarding and preserving aka her future husband would do...etc
Alas, even THAT doesn't always happen! "Al Naama wal Tawoos" or "The Ostrich and the Peacock", an Egyptian movie produced a few years ago, tackled the issue of 'sexual ignorance' openly. When the girl asks her mom about sex before she gets married, her mother is just too ashamed and tells her, "He knows". The thing is, it turned out later that he didn't know.
I realised the weight of the crisis just yesterday. My friends and I gathered in a cafe and we noticed that two of us, let's call them Mona and Sally, were whispering and somehow abandonned the rest of us. We kept teasing them coz we kinda guessed what they were talking about; Mona's getting married by winter and Sally in 11 days' time. Remember the 11 days' time. Ok?
I asked Sally if there was anything she wanted to know...and she answered..."I don't know anything". We were puzzled and asked her hadn't her mother talked with her yet? She hadn't. I just tried to comfort her and told her that sure her mother was intending to talk to her the next couple of days...and that maybe she's shy...so why not start the conversation with her..."Mummy I needed to know a few stuff" kind of lines. All the poor girl knew was licking and sucking-from her work mates.
To avoid disasters, I started explaining to them the four stages of the human sexual response cycle in a rather scientific way. Sally started to nod so I knew she read some book...but Mona kept her eyes wide open and her face was pale. Anything I said about orgasm, erection or the vagina was totally knew to her! I realised I've been speaking in English, so I translated some terms, but language wasn't the problem. It was the first time EVER Mona knew about sex. Those girls didn't know that we've got three holes, and I guess they still don't know which one is used for sex. A hideous thought ripped through my head: what if their husbands didn't know either? Talk about high divorce rates!
I kept thinking...didn't they even get curious some day and logged on to the internet, read some book or asked their mothers? I knew what their mothers would have told them anyway..."mesh wa2toh delwa2ty ya 7abebty...7ab2a a2ollek lamma teegy tetgawezy" "It's not time now dear...I will tell you when you get married" Hopefully before the Dokhla!
After some discussion,debates and laughs in which the rest of our group joined and listened to me intently...Sally dropped the bombshell.

"So what brings about the babies? My water or his?"

"His," I answered quickly, trying not to embarrass or laugh at her whereas in fact I was truly mad at them. Really, really mad at them. And at their mothers. And at mine (but I'm not getting married any time soon so I shouldn't worry now right?) At least I had my share of independent reading on the topic,but Mona and Sally aren't readers...how could they know?! I didn't lash out at them because I realised they are victims of negligence and ignorance.
I hereby declare from this blog that we Egyptian youth can't get no sex education whatsoever and we don't know what to do! The only sex we're getting anywhere in the air is some supposedly hot scenes and innuendos in Egyptian movies, 'medical' magazines and books with eye-catching titles and awfully-drawn pictures.

For God's sake, people, sex education is not innate. It is to be TAUGHT!

I loved You

May I in this eternal darkness of mine eventually find peace.

عرسان الغفلة

بكره أشوف عرسان

مش عشان مبدأ جواز الصالونات نفسه, أهو طريقة تعارف زى ما اى اتنين بيتعرفوا, مش مفضالاها بس حانعمل ايه

عشان أهلى زى ما تقولوا كده ما بيصدقوا حد كويس (بمعنى انه من عيلة محترمة و معاه فلوس) يتقدم و يقعدوا يقنعونى بيه و دى فرصة ذهبية دى فرصة ماتتعوضش, انتى عايزة تفضلى مرزوعة (ايوة, قالوا مرزوعة) زى اختك الكبيرة لحد ما بقى عندها 27 سنة؟

أصرخ: يعنى هى المفروض توافق على حد مش مرتاحة له؟

يلفوا و يدوروا و مايجاوبوش على سؤالى

يا ترى لو كنت ولد كانوا حايضغطوا عليا كده؟ كل شوية يأكدوا لى أنهم مش جابرينى على حاجة لكن لما ماما تقول للناس انى موافقة أشوف عريس من غير ما تاخد رأيى مش ده يبقى إجبار؟

بجد شىء عجيب. بيحسسونى ان انا المفروض أبوس ايدى وش و ضهر ان حد عبرنى و ازاى و ازاى بقى أقول لأ !!! أبقى كده باتبطر على النعمة!!

ولوشفته و قلت مش موافقة لازم استجواب: ليه؟

مش مرتاحة

مش مرتاحة ليه هو شكله وحش؟

لأ

اخلاقه وحشة؟

لأ

فيه عيب ظاهر؟

لأ

أمال مش مرتاحة ليه؟

مش عارفة, مش مرتاحة و خلاص

انت حرة...خليكى قاعدة كده...بس ماترجعيش تندمى!!!!

أندم على ايه أنا مش فاهمة!!! هما شايفين ان انا المفروض أوافق على أى حد عيلته كويسة و شكله مقبول و امكانياته كويسة والحب بقى ييجى بعد الجواز!!!!

بس أنا يا عالم ماقدرش أعيش كده, ماقدرش أحط دبلة واحد فى ايدى غير لما أكون دايبة ف حبه و ف نفس الوقت مقتنعة بيه, لما اجى أفكر فيه بطريقة عقلانية يعنى

حاجة كمان باكرهها فى الجواز ده إن لازم يبقى فيه ارتباط رسمى فى فترة قصيرة, عشان ماينفعش يفضل داخل خارج من البيت من غير ما نكون مخطوبين كأن حد ماسك بندقية على راسك و بيقوللك : حب فى خلال تلات شهور قبل الخطوبة...و إلا!!!!!

انا نفسى اللى ارتبط بيه ابقى شفته فى موقف عادى بره موضوع الارتباط ده عشان مايبقاش لا أنا ولا هو مرسومين نفسى الموضوع يجى بالتدريج و اخد وقت براحتى نعرف بعض و أحب و أتحب و يعرف جنانى و غضبى و حنيتى...

المهم ان انا لسه ماكملتش اتنين و عشرين سنة, و اكيد كل ما أكبر كل ما ضغوط الجواز حاتزيد...أنا مش عارفة يعنى فى أسوأ الظروف لو ماتجوزتش ايه اللى حايحصل يعنى؟؟

حادخل النار؟

حايفصلونى من الشغل؟

حأعجز بدرى؟

و بعدين أنا مش من نوعية الناس اللى بتعرف تسيب انطباع أول كويس عند الناس...يعنى ممكن أوى لما أشوف حد يبقى الانطباع اللى حياخده مش هو الحقيقى, أنا باتصرف على طبيعتى و تلقائية و صريحة... ولو مشينا على كلام أهلى المفروض ان انا أقرر اذا كنت عايزة الشخص ده بعد قعدتين تلاتة, طب بالذمة ايها القارىء العزيز انت المفروض تعرف ايه عن شخص فى خلال تلات اربع ساعات؟

حاتعرف ايه عنه يخليك تاخد قرار انك توعده بالخطوبة اللى هى وعد الجواز؟

ممكن تكون انت او انتى عندكوا موهبة انك تقدر تعرف شخصية اللى قدامك بسهولة, طب الغلابة اللى زيى يعملوا ايه؟

الموضوع أبسط من البساطة, قسمة و نصيب ربنا كاتبهولى من قبل ما أتخلق لكن أهلى مصممين يعملوها خناقة و يقنعونى ان كل عريس

يتقدم لى فرصة ذهبية و مش حاتتكرر, و انى المفروض أمسك فيه بايديا و سنانى

!!!

عشان كده باقول ان طريقة عرسان الصالونات دى ماتنفعنيش... و نفسى أعمل ثورة فى البيت انى أرفض انى أشوف حد أصلا لكن اؤكد لكوا ان مفيش ثورة من غير ضحايا

ايه رأيكوا يا جدعان؟؟؟؟

"You don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the one you cannot live without."