Sunday, January 07, 2007

You being you

I saw you today dressed in black, black locks of hair falling over your fine forehead...your eyes deep, deep blue as they always are; looking at me with that eternal look of hesitation. And when I took you to my arms,you didn't understand I was not just greeting you, you didn't understand that I needed to feel you in my arms,like I need you now, like you always haunt my wildest dreams. I wish I could show you more of my skin than the exams and studying and the languages and college...but it's always never the right time. You are always on a hurry...slipping away from my fingers before I can show you how much of a soulmate you are to me. How can I express! How can I express among those swarms of people, this leaden sky...this short time...that only gives me a minute to look deeper into your eyes, searching for a clue I can never find. Is there any chance for you and me? Sometimes I just wish I could stop the sands of time, take you somewhere only we know and just pour out my entire self into your ears, into your lips, "then I'll let the darkness cover me...deny everything...slowly walk away...to leave again...on my own."
Have I ever told you how much I miss you...my dear I always do. It's just insatiable...all I've got for you in my soul. And to hear of you talking of the unknown lover you're waiting for...of the extreme loneliness you're living in...of the inexplicable desire and tension living in your soul that you try to express in your art, breaks my heart. And oh...oh if you know what it is for a heart to be broken!
I wonder why you ever have to walk away from me...where else will you ever find a heart that bleeds just to see you leave, leave so simply and leave my world behind! Where else will you find a heart that would rather be silent forever than ever hurt you? So don't talk about waiting for someone to love. I bleed for you. I ache for you...
You being you...you being everything you are...the distressed artist... the puzzled child...the yearning lover.....the ordinary face amongst the millions of faces we brush by as we go through each step of the way. The black magic in your eyes that just transfixes me when I sense it. That holds me from saying the words that had kept my heart and tongue for so long in captivity...

Or do I have to be a man?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear wilde and calm,

What a wonderful pice you are writing, so as i told you before the way yoy are telling things and the way you chosing the words, it is wonderful. if iread this ice then i have a picture of the situation in my head i can see the picture throug the worde you choose and if you are able to do that then you are a great writer. if i read a novel for Mahfous i can see the streets of cairo in my head you are doing the with me , lady keep writing and have a nice day

sherif Holland

Red Rose said...

she is lucky lady to let you describe what u feel in such inspiring way..

Anonymous said...

DEear Red rose,
yes she is not only lucky but very sensetiev and very smart the way she is choosing the words and describing the situation

Anonymous said...

Just wanna say wow...that's an excellent wording of what you feel. That guy is so lucky to have you (if he's real :P )
But don't you think you should do something about it? I mean if you really think he's your soulmate and the one for you..I don't think you should wait and make him fly away, just take some action, take the first step...
I love your blog..very interesting!

Anonymous said...

beautiful,i miss u too.

قطر الندى said...

I am so proud of you sis!

Digg! said...

Speechless.
It hurts.
It really does.